It Has To Start Somewhere
Hello Friends!
My name is Rachel and I'm overjoyed to be a part of #TheLydiaInitiative in this season of my life!
I joined this movement because as a Paramedic and a Masters in Global Public Health, this first time mom thought she knew everything 🥴
Boy….was I in for a surprise…
After my husband and I had been trying for almost a year to have a kid, we finally got pregnant! We were so excited and did everything we could do to prepare for baby to get here. I honestly had a pretty easy pregnancy besides being deathly sick for 16 weeks…but no complications (Praise The Lord).
I was working full time as an EMT, going to paramedic school and also doing an internship (through my schooling) of being a paramedic on an actual ambulance. I seemed to be handling it fine and had a good support system. Labor and delivery went pretty well and we were in the hospital just awaiting being discharged.
While in the waiting period, I was having trouble getting our daughter to latch for breastfeeding. I had read all about breastfeeding, watched videos, and had done everything I possibly could think of to be prepared for THIS MOMENT. I was exhausted…obviously from labor…but more so I felt exhausted from trying to feed my daughter. I felt like a failure, so I called the nurses for a lactation appointment. I had FOUR different lactation consultants come to “help” me in the hospital and all said something completely different.
I was confused, my husband was confused, and my daughter was also confused…probably about all different positions I was trying. Within the first 48 hours, her weight had dropped significantly and we had to be put on a feeding plan and talked to AGAIN by one of the four lactation consultants we saw. Not one of them explained things well and it was full of guilt tripping and failure. I never wanted to supplement my baby with formula but here we were. I was not able to provide for her like I thought…or even figuring out different ways that may help my latch.
I left the hospital scared, feeling like a failure, and not knowing what to do. When we got home we started supplementing her with formula after every feed. So the schedule was
Feed Our Daughter (Lasted about 1 hour and so painful)
Give our daughter to the hubs so he can supplement her with formula
Pump for 15-20minutes
Back to #1 again because it was such a long process and now our daughter was hungry again.
We had set up our doctor appointment the day after we got out of the hospital and much to our relief, our daughter had gained back the weight she had lost and then some! We were so happy but also so exhausted from our schedule all day and night. I was so determined to not use formula (which is my own preference but ya gotta feed that baby any way you can) that I stuck on that schedule for almost 3 months.
We had multiple lactation appointments that were not helpful and in the end, we found that our daughter had a tongue-tie. Thankfully we were able to correct it and it was so much better after that. Oh, did I also tell you that I had been given nipple shield by those lactation consultants and had been using them this whole time? Spoiler alert: they were the problem….
After weaning my daughter off the nipple shields, getting her tongue-tie revised, and dropping the lactation consultants advice…things seemed to be on the up and up. I was finally able to feed my daughter with ease and no pain. I weaned slowly off of pumping altogether after I had stored so much breastmilk in our freezer that nothing else fit. I felt relieved and that I was finally doing something right.
Then the dreaded mastitis came. I had always had clogged ducts from pumping so much but had always seemed to clear them. Except this time I just couldn’t. I tried everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Nothing worked and I finally went to the doctor after a few days. I had none of the flu-like symptoms, no streaking on my breast or anything that would suggest that I would have mastitis. The doctors although felt the lump, gave me antibiotics and I was on my way.
When I was on day five (which the clogged duct should have been getting better by now) and it wasn’t getting better, I called again. The doctors saw me and sent me to get an ultrasound. They found out that I had developed an abscess that needed to be drained. So that day, I had minor surgery to remove it. Everything went well with the operation and thankfully I was still able to feed my daughter.
When I finally got home, I broke down. With my postpartum hormones , becoming a new mom that struggled with feeding my daughter and the build up of everything I had already been through…I couldn’t take it anymore. My husband was trying his best to comfort me but he didn’t know what to do except try to encourage me that everything was ok.
A few days had gone by and my close friends started asking how I was doing. I finally became vulnerable and let them know what was happening. They all looked so stunned that I didn’t tell them about all the things that I was struggling with. They gave me so much support and even started opening up about the challenges that they had been facing or had faced before with their kids.
If it wasn’t for my community, I can tell you right now that I would feel helpless, alone and depressed. Especially with the weight of postpartum, my mental health would have deteriorated fast. I was taken back again when I finally opened up about my story with other friends and they also shared their stories with me as well.
With these women by my side, I felt inspired and empowered to do the same for my fellow sisters. Not just because of what happened to me, but because that’s why God created us to be in community. In the Bible, we are told to “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galations 6:2) Every woman has a story that someone else can relate to, and by helping one another carry each other’s burdens, we are truly loving that person. This is why I joined The Lydia Initiative.
While I don’t have it all figured out, because I just got mastitis again and then low milk supply….BUT I knew what to do, I had my community and different resources to surround me. And I want to do the same for other woman.
You are not alone, you are not a failure, you are not helpless.
YOU ARE BOLD, YOU INSPIRE, AND YOU EMPOWER THOSE AROUND YOU
Join me in #TheLydiaInitiative to help share your stories and change the world!
XOXO Rachel
*I did want to point out that not every lactation consultant is bad. There are amazing lactation consultants out there, but I struggled to find them in my area. I’m sharing my story to help relate to others but also encourage those who may be dealing with something very similar.
Also friend, if you are a lactation consultant, I hope that this helps with future patients you may be working with or you should share with us some of your stories to encourage other moms on things that may help!